So Safe
It has taken me almost 3 years to write this.
Since the beginning of 2018 I have been wanting to start a blog. Wrote the idea down in 2018, then tossed it. Pushed it to the verrrry back of mind in 2019 and tried to forget about it. Created a website in 2020, deleted it 3 months after.
I was scared.
I didn't believe that people would connect or even be interested in reading about what I had to say. I have stashed away nearly thousands of writings out of fear—fear of rejection, inadequacies, being too ordinary, being too honest, fear that my expression of creativity wasn’t good enough, etc. You name it.
That all changed today.
I was sitting in the coffeeshop writing this, in search of a thumbnail picture to assign to this blog post, and I critiqued every square inch of myself. Sounded like:
‘Remember, you felt your ugliest in these pictures? You shouldn’t post these.’
‘Do you really think people will engage with what you share? Rethink your blog.’
Insert more thoughts about how I felt about my body, weight, insecurities, and doubts.
And God spoke so gently to me saying, “You’re safe here.”
As I was consciously and subconsciously comparing myself to a standard of worthiness, God, in the most simplest way, reminded me that I was enough, as I was. Just as He created me to be. And, in that I was safe.
So safe that I could relinquish my feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and feeling too ordinary. So safe that I could release the pressure to look, be, or create a certain way to receive validation—from anyone or anything.
So safe.
How special is that?
I’ve had to (and are still learning to) develop a deep inner-standing of learning to trust who I am, what I am capable of, what I bring/give, and why it is that God placed me here. That is when the real self-love is revealed. Through your knowing. Knowing who God affirms you as. Knowing who you are. And walking confidently in that.
I read a quote on comparison that said, “comparison means you’re chasing the gift and not the giver”. READ IT AGAIN.
whew. right?
It is so true. Oftentimes, we don’t even know (and sometimes we do) that we are comparing ourselves to someone else’s ‘something’. In exchange, we welcome negative self-talk and more into our minds. And If we’re not sensitive enough to the spirit, or quick enough to affirm ourselves with the word, we can easily start to believe those lies.
Here’s the truth:
If you weren't uniquely and wonderfully made by God, the attacks wouldn't come as easily as they do. Its because you ARE made with/on purpose, and because YOU ARE gifted, YOU ARE unique, and because YOU ARE one of one, that the enemy tries to attack the most vulnerable & valuable parts of you—your mind, spirit, and heart.
But this is what God says & we have to affirm ourselves of these things:
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. - Ephesians 2:10 - Perfectly Made
But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. - 1 Peter 2:9 - Chosen
Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:39 - Loved
We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith - Romans 12:6 - Unique
Take away(s):
real self-love and self-care is knowing and learning who you are.
Just be who you were called to be & do what you were called to do.
you were already chosen for this.
trust the Giver. don’t compare yourself to the gifts or image of others — you have your own and that is special enough.
Your value is simply in being who you are—not what you do, how you do it, or how you look.
In God you will always be safe.
Affirm yourself, daily. Pray as often as it crosses your mind. Spend time getting to know yourself. Believe that you are ONE OF ONE. Your gift, your presence, and your purpose matters.
You were chosen for this & you're safe here.
This is for you, this is for me, this is for us.