Almost Thirty: Is This Growth?
Sunday, I was out at a day party with my cousin—the music is up, the crowd is vibing, the sun is shining, and I have my go-to cocktail in hand. A perfect intro to summer. And then I hear it, “Cash Money Records takin’ over for the ’99 and the 2000s.” And of course the room goes up!
“Ayeee!” I cheers to a girl across the room, lifting my drink to the air, and before I knew it, I had found myself doing a slow wine—nothing crazy. Just in my own world, and corner, feeling soft, sexy, and fully me.
Catching myself in that moment, I had to laugh. Because, wait…is this growth?
I used to be the first one to get up, clear out the middle of the dance floor, and pop it the moment the beat dropped. I can hold my own on any dance floor and had no problem holding that attention. Ask about me, haha! But Sunday? I didn’t feel moved to do any of that. I didn’t feel the need to turn up to be noticed. I wasn’t trying to keep up with a younger version of myself.
And it wasn’t about not having fun. I still do, and did! But, I felt a shift. Subtle, but a shift I’ve been acknowledging for some time. Plus, I didn’t want to leave sweaty, tired, and with my makeup halfway gone. I didn’t want to move so fast that I couldn’t enjoy the presence of the moment. I’d put on a new perfume, my makeup was cute, and I just wanted to be feminine, radiant, present.
I’m noticing the subtle shifts that are taking place within as I approach 30. I’m entering a new space in my womanhood where I’m preserving my energy, not performing it.
Nothing to prove. No competition. No pressure to be the center of attention. People feel my presence when I walk in—I bring joy, light, and laughter wherever I go. But this time, I was the life of the party in my space, present, and with my people. I didn’t need the whole room to know it; I wanted to feel it. That was my focus. Having a good time isn’t about doing the most, it’s about doing what feels most like me.
And let that be a reminder to you. Do what feels good to you.
I’m outside for joy. Being authentically myself, embodying ease, sensuality, and quiet confidence. This is grown woman energy. And it is magnetic in and of itself.
I really love how honest and intentional I’ve been with myself lately about what actually feels good to my spirit and what truly pours back into me. I’m walking in a kind of confidence that doesn’t need to announce itself…it just shows up.
And it feels so good.
I’m calling this era refined joy. And I’m loving every part of it.
Growth.